So you know the days (or week) when you feel like you are 5 seconds away from a breakdown? Where if something just hits your heart in the right spot you will start crying and collapse to the floor. Well that’s where I’m at.

I think the only thing that got me through this week was my dad’s chocolate chip cookies.

I am beginning to feel like I have taken on too much. I have been sick for 2 weeks and I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I am constantly running. My emotional state is up and down.

Honestly, I don’t know how the fuck I am writing this right now. Surprisingly I have just been able to take things as they come. I have been holding onto “Sometimes all you can really do is just try your best.” Because I know in my heart that I am giving it my best.

My anxiety has mostly been at a baseline. So not too high but always there. So that’s fun.

All in all I feel like my mind is too full with things I have to do, should be doing, or want to do. The dos are running out of places to hide.

Part of me wants to reach something that will push me over the edge into that breakdown territory, because then I can pick myself up, brush myself off, and plow forward. Because really, at this point there is not a whole lot else I can do.