So this post seems completely random to me, but yet completely describes me at this point in my life. Now I don’t mean to offend anyone. I have my views and you have yours. I don’t think the way you live your life is better or worse than mine. I just think that how I am living currently is the best for me.

So let’s jump in.

I’ll admit it, I’m a college student that hates dating. Maybe society has created this, but I feel like college is all about dating and experimenting. But I hate it.

I’ve had one serious boyfriend in my life. The relationship lasted for 2 years in high school. Within that relationship I learned a lot, had a lot of self-hate, spent a lot of time waiting, and grew up true-mendously. (That’s how I like to spell the word, haters gon hate.) 4 years later I now know I should’ve ended that relationship 6 months after it started. Hindsight, isn’t it great?

So then I went to college and thought okay, let’s try this dating thing. I am 19 years old, this is what I am supposed to be doing. Plus I thought it would be fun and help me move forward. And let me tell you, it was awful. I was meandering around something I had no clue how to meander around. It was foreign. I went on dates with 4 or 5 different guys and then BAM! It hit me, I didn’t want to do it anymore. It was not fun like it was supposed to be. I mean I never got hurt, sad, or anything like that, but I just felt like I was wasting my time. And wasting time is one of the things I hate most in this world.
My friends and peers would always say, what’s the worst that can happen? You get a free dinner. You have new experiences. You’ll have a story to tell. Yes, I have those stories now, but dating wasn’t on my terms. I was just doing it because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be doing.

I haven’t been on a date in 2 years. And you know what? It’s amazing. Now some of you may think that I am just saying that because I am single, lonely, and I have to say that. But actually, that statement is 110% true. Yes I am single, but I am far from lonely. I have declined dates because I was so not interested in them. I have declined dates because I had better plans with girlfriends. I have declined dates, because hell, I could. Now that’s dating on my terms.

Besides not dating, I sometimes think I can’t imagine having a boyfriend right now. I love being able to be completely selfish. I am 21 years old, I think I am way too young to get married etc. I believe that this is the time in my life where I can be selfish. I love not having to text someone where I’m at or what I’m doing. I love being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. I like spending money on myself, not someone else. My life isn’t that exciting but I am a free bird. I love my job, my friends, school, and how my future is falling into place right now. I just can’t see a boyfriend fitting into that equation.

Also, I am planning on going to graduate school hundreds maybe thousands of miles away from where I am currently going to school. I want nothing holding me back. I live with someone who has turned away amazing opportunities so she could be near her boyfriend. I don’t think that would ever be me, but I know I don’t want it to ever be me. Because in the end, if you sacrificed your schooling or career for a man and then you break up, what will you have? No boyfriend, and no career. My school, then job is more important to me than a man could be at this time.

Someday I would like to have someone special in my life. Someone who supports me, loves me, and gives me their all.

But now isn’t the time.

Advertisements