Archives for the month of: July, 2012

As I sent off that thank you into the world wide web I realized that I everything I feel has a purpose. As much as I would like for some thoughts to simply just disappear, a year or more from now I may want to remember what I was feeling.
I’m going to forget the 2 minute walk I took last night with my best friend who also happens to be my roommate for the past 4 years. I am going to forget the time I fell asleep on the boat this weekend because I had finally been able to silence the anxiety in my head that makes me so tired. I probably won’t remember dumpster diving for old windows that someone so carelessly threw away.
I am able to remember these things now because they happened within the past week. But it somehow makes me very sad to think that these simple, maybe even mundane, things will be lost in the past, forgotten remnants of a life I live.

I don’t want my past to be like those old windows. I don’t want things I have felt, been through, to be carelessly put into a dumpster because they are forgotten about and don’t have any real value anymore. Because really, my feelings and memories will have some value someday to someone, whether it’s me or someone else, just like those old windows.

Really, I deserve to relish in my life. I deserve to live in it and remember it. And I don’t want to take that away from myself. I want to value my everything just like I value my brand new old windows.

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The idea of writing a journal, blog, or anything really, has always interested me. But you see I have this messed up idea of when I write something down it makes it real.

It happens with everything. Test dates, grocery lists, feelings, thoughts. I like to push things to the back of my mind. But when I write them down they aren’t at the back of my mind anymore. They are real.

So this is the reason I have not started a blog.

But recently I stumbled upon a site called hugstronger. Through that I came into contact with a beautiful soul. Kaleigh. And through that contact I happened upon her blog.

She weaves words like I have never seen before. And the way she does it is so very unique but still makes absolute sense. So much sense that she inspired me to start my own blog.

I realized I have things to say. I center my life around helping others and maybe just one person will read and be affected. But that’s one more person than before.

I want to be able to get my feelings out and write honestly. Because that’s what I liked about Kaleigh’s blog. That’s what inspired me.

And maybe I need to write things down to make things real. Maybe it will be good for me. I don’t know. But here’s to making things real.